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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27227098">shiver that i can't shake (you're the habit that i can't break)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/txmx/pseuds/txmx'>txmx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftercare, BDSM, Come Swallowing, Dom Louis Tomlinson, Dom/sub, Edgeplay, Edging, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Humiliation, M/M, Marking, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Possessive Louis Tomlinson, Sub Harry Styles, Subspace</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:06:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,311</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27227098</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/txmx/pseuds/txmx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Their feelings ran so deep within them they were engraved in their bones, it was a fact- the stars were burning, the ocean was deep, the universe was infinite, Louis loved Harry, Harry loved Louis, and their love was burning as the stars and deep as the ocean and infinite as the universe.</i><br/><br/><i>They loved each other, always.</i><br/><br/>Or, when Louis and Harry meet at a fancy event after their Big Break-up, they realize that they can't resist each other and in an empty room decide that they don't have to live without each other, either.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>145</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>shiver that i can't shake (you're the habit that i can't break)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>English isn't my first language so if you see any mistakes, feel free to let me know in the comments and help make this a better experience for other readers! ;)</p><p>Anyway, first time writing smut. I had strong feelings about sub Harry and it sort of turned into a getting back together fic.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Please," Harry murmured into the kiss.</p><p>"Please what?"</p><p>"Just.... just..."</p><p>Harry's hands started roaming all over Louis' clothed chest and hips while he continued kissing him.</p><p>"Harry," Louis said, in between kisses. "Harry, we shouldn't... we shouldn't..."</p><p>His words got buried in Harry's mouth and in his deep breaths as his fingers grazed the skin that was poking out from underneath Louis' shirt.</p><p>"Fuck," Louis took Harry's hands and pinned them by his sides against the wall. "Stop doing that, god."</p><p>Harry leaned his head back against the wall. Louis couldn't take his eyes off of his throat, looking so very inviting. Harry's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, which was all the convincing Louis needed to attach himself to the soft skin underneath Harry's jawline.</p><p>He kissed the skin all the way to his ear and back. Involuntarily, he started leaving a pink trail leading down to Harry's collarbone.</p><p>"Lou..." Harry breathed out more than said. Louis didn't have any excuse for the way he started sucking a bruise where Harry's neck met his shoulder except for the way his name rolled out of Harry's mouth.</p><p>When he pulled off, he got just enough time to notice the dark red, almost purple color of it before Harry used his strength to switch their positions, pressing Louis against the hard surface instead.</p><p>Louis‘ hands went to Harry's waist with the intention of pushing him off but he only ended up pulling him closer, holding on to him as if he could slip away any second. His fingers danced over the waistband of Harry's pants as they started kissing again, more tongue than anything else.</p><p>Harry's hands were on Louis' neck and he was making these desperate, low sounds that were coming from his throat but sounded like they were from another world and they were going straight into Louis' cock. He pulled Harry closer even though he didn't think it was physically possible.</p><p>The kiss seemed hungry, both greedily taking whatever the other was willing to give. Harry then rolled his hips and Louis heard a sound that he only later realized was his moan.</p><p>"Please," Harry whispered, "can I-"</p><p>But then his mouth was preoccupied again, Louis not letting him speak for a few seconds.</p><p>"Lou, please," Harry moaned when Louis pulled off to start kissing his neck again. "Let me suck you off."</p><p>"Fuck," Louis pulled on Harry's blazer. "Get this off."</p><p>Harry quickly complied, not wasting any second.</p><p>"Should I..." he trailed off, holding his shirt.</p><p>Louis nodded.</p><p>Harry took it off as well then, discarding it on the floor beneath their feet. Louis' eyes roamed over his chest, his fingers following them soon after.<br/>
He stroked over his tattoos, barely touching the skin. Harry drew in a sharp breath when his fingers grazed over his nipples.</p><p>Louis chuckled. "Sensitive?"</p><p>"You should know."</p><p>"Of course I know," he said, offended somehow. As if he could forget. As if it - all of it - wasn't still burnt deep into his fingers, his eyes, his skin, his - everything.</p><p>"How could I forget when I knew before you even did?"</p><p>Harry didn't answer but he saw a slight blush creep onto his cheeks.</p><p>Louis pulled him closer, kissing him again, going too long without a taste of him - whether it meant seconds or months, he wasn't sure.</p><p>He pushed himself off the wall for a second, not letting go of Harry, to get out of his blazer as well, feeling hot all over.</p><p>When he leaned back again, pulling Harry with him by the waistband of his pants, he felt Harry's hands on his lower stomach.</p><p>"Harry," he said into the kiss.</p><p>"Please, Lou," Harry whined, "let me, I wanna - wanna make you feel good, can I-"</p><p>Louis groaned and pressed on Harry's shoulders, pushing him to the floor. He was down on his knees in a second, a dull sound coming out from under them. Louis was sure it had to hurt, but then again, it was Harry. Not like he would mind.</p><p>Harry pressed his face against Louis' clothed crotch, breathing him in.</p><p>"God," Louis let out a bit more breathily than he intended, "come on."</p><p>Without wasting any more time, Harry unzipped his pants, pulling them down a bit. He stroked the bulge in Louis underwear a little before pulling those down as well, looking at him, just looking. He had this expression on his face, the one he had only ever seen Harry make, like he hadn't drunk in days and was stood in front of a pool of water, ready to dive in.</p><p>He did.</p><p>Louis moaned when he felt Harry's tongue on him, licking, tasting. He kept it up for a few seconds, agonizingly slow, his fingers tracing around his balls.</p><p>"Harry..." Louis said, not sure whether he was pleading, demanding, or moaning.</p><p>Maybe all of them, he thought.</p><p>Then Harry took him into his mouth and he stopped thinking altogether.</p><p>He didn't forget, okay, could never forget what it felt like to have Harry around him, spent all those months thinking about him, not being able to stop, but god, not even Harry in his head could compare to the real Harry and he almost managed to convince himself that he could live without him, but.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>"Look at me," he said in a deep voice. (Deep, okay, even if Harry liked telling him that his deep voice wasn't that deep, although it was just as sexy.)</p><p>Harry looked up from underneath him and if Louis wanted to, he could come just from the sight - Harry with his wide eyes looking up at him and his deep red lips wrapped around him.</p><p>He took a mental picture of him, willing himself never to forget this.</p><p>He put his hands in Harry's hair, stroking, pulling, as Harry took him in and never completely out.</p><p>"So good, Haz," he breathed.</p><p>Harry took him completely in then, Louis' cock hitting the back of Harry's throat, as if trying to live up to the praise. Which he probably actually was.</p><p>"Such a good boy, H, god" Louis moaned, because he was, was so good. Only then did he realize he started using Harry's nicknames, and fuck, he didn't mean to. Those were their thing. Theirs. Not his nor Harry's but theirs and they weren't a they anymore, fuck.</p><p>Harry didn't seem to mind though, if the way he took him in enthusiastically was any indication. He probably wanted Louis to lose control of himself anyway. He was a little shit.</p><p>He was so good.</p><p>Louis was holding Harry's hair in his fists, which meant that whenever Harry went down on him, he had to feel the pull on his head. Louis knew how that made Harry go all soft and pliant underneath him, could picture it in his head right that second.</p><p>The image only brought even more blood into his cock. He could feel it pulsing, found it harder and harder to think, to control himself.</p><p>He pushed Harry's head down, making him take it. Harry made sounds that weren't moans nor whimpers but they were coming from his throat and were muffled by Louis' cock in his mouth, and they were the sexiest thing Louis had heard.</p><p>Louis could never deep-throat, which made Harry's ability to all the more exciting for him, not really understanding how he managed to do it, thinking how much Harry just wanted to feel it, feel him, feel him even after he finished, sometimes for hours or days.</p><p>He imagined Harry saying his name in the raspy, broken voice he got whenever Louis got a bit too rough with him, and.</p><p>"Haz," he got out through his clenched teeth. "Haz, I'm gonna - I'm - "</p><p>He tried to pull Harry off of him, not knowing how far Harry wanted to take this, not wanting to make him, because he couldn't, could he? Not anymore. He didn't have the right to push Harry's boundaries, to push him further than Harry himself thought he could go. It wasn't Louis' place anymore.</p><p>So he tried pulling him off, maybe tugging on his hair a bit too roughly in the process, maybe intentionally. Before he managed to get Harry off of him, though, Harry let out a dissatisfied sound, taking Louis back into his mouth, seemingly working even harder to get him off.</p><p>"Haz," Louis whimpered, "such a good boy, Haz, you're such a good boy for me, fu-ck-"</p><p>And then he was coming, a wave of arousal taking over his body, hands forming into fists, pulling on Harry's hair even harder. He heard Harry let out a short whimper when he tugged on it but then he was swallowing around him, taking everything. He moved his head a bit, letting Louis ride the aftershocks, moving his tongue as well. Louis let him until it started to feel uncomfortable.</p><p>"Shit," Louis breathed out, managing to pull Harry off of him this time. He let go of Harry and ran his fingers through his own hair, slouching a bit. His legs were 
shaking and he felt too heavy, too blissed-out, so he let himself fall to the ground, sitting in front of Harry who was still on his knees, mouth slightly open.</p><p>"Come here," Louis said, kissing Harry on his mouth, tasting himself but not caring one bit.</p><p>When he pulled away, Harry groaned, "Lou." There was saliva dripping down his chin, his lips were puffed and red and wet and still fucking open, and his eyes were completely dark, glazed over. He was a mess, looking completely out of it.</p><p>He was beautiful.</p><p>Louis took his discarded blazer from the floor and with the inside wiped Harry's chin, not caring about the piece of clothing.</p><p>"You're so good, H," he told him. "So beautiful, so amazing."</p><p>"Lou."</p><p>"What is it?" He asked, not really sure how much he could play but not able to stop himself.</p><p>"Please, Lou," Harry moaned as Louis started moving his fingers on his chest again. "Please, touch me."</p><p>"But I am touching you," Louis smirked.</p><p>Harry groaned. "Lou." He caught Louis hand with his but before he could move it, Louis shook Harry's off, letting go of Harry altogether.</p><p>"No," he said. "Put them behind your back. Keep them there... good boy," he added when Harry complied.</p><p>Louis brought his hands back to Harry's chest, running his fingers over his nipples. He bent down, sticking his tongue out and licking over it, drawing a moan out of Harry. He then took it into his mouth, sucking while he played with the other one with his hand. The only sound in the room was Harry's hard breathing until he broke it with a quiet, "please."</p><p>Louis drew back and Harry whimpered at the loss of contact. When Louis looked at him he seemed conflicted, as if he wasn't sure whether he wanted Louis to continue playing with his nipples or to do something different.</p><p>That was fine, though, because he didn't have to decide anything - Louis would do that for him. He'd do it for him for the rest of his life if Harry wanted him to.</p><p>Louis leaned against the wall, spreading his legs, motioning for Harry to come between them. He crawled forward on his knees, looking a bit awkward, his cheeks gaining a pink tint.</p><p>"So pretty," Louis murmured, not really sure whether he said it out loud or in his head.</p><p>He unzipped Harry's pants and pushed them down to his knees with his underwear. Harry blushed at the sudden exposure even more but didn't otherwise react.</p><p>"Wanna touch yourself?" Louis said.</p><p>Harry nodded his head, some hair strands falling into his eyes in the process.</p><p>Louis pushed them to the side, brushing Harry's forehead with his fingertips in the process, and said, "go on, then."</p><p>Harry brought one of his hands from behind, slowly taking his cock in it, not doing anything.</p><p>"Jerk yourself off."</p><p>Harry started moving his hand, slowly. He closed his eyes, head falling backwards.</p><p>"No, look at me," Louis told him, putting his hand in Harry's hair again and pulling once, twice, hard.</p><p>Harry's eyes found Louis'.</p><p>"Lou," he groaned and Louis knew he felt embarrassed, exposed like that, letting Louis watch him and see Louis watching him. He knew feeling vulnerable turned Harry on, though, and it turned Louis on to know Harry was making himself vulnerable for him, even though he didn't think he could get hard so soon again. They fit so well together and Louis hated it. Loved it.</p><p>Both.</p><p>"Good boy, Haz," he said, reassuring him. "Being so good for me."</p><p>"For you," Harry breathed out, blinking hard, trying to keep his eyes open.</p><p>"Yeah," Louis tweaked his nipples, "you're my good boy, aren't you?"</p><p>"Yours," Harry moaned, finally closing his eyes. Louis didn't have it in himself to make him open them again, seeing Harry so wrecked, shaking. His breaths were getting shorter and shallow, and when he let out a broken, "L-ou," he knew he was almost over the edge, so-</p><p>"Stop."</p><p>Harry's hand stilled even before he seemed to realize what happened.</p><p>He looked at Louis. "Lou," he begged with his eyes.</p><p>"Come here," Louis said, motioning to himself. Harry moved and Louis helped him sit in between his stretched out legs, Harry's back to his chest, leaning on him. Louis took Harry's hands and put them behind his back, trapping them between their bodies. Then he put one of his hands into Harry's hair, stroking his head.</p><p>"Good boy," he whispered.</p><p>"Good boy," Harry repeated. Louis wasn't sure he was even aware of it.</p><p>"Mine," he couldn't help but say and when Harry didn't answer, he pulled on his hair, making him pay attention.</p><p>"Please," Harry said. "Please, Lou..."</p><p>Harry sounded gone, completely out of it, and Louis didn't mean to put him under but here they were and he felt angry at himself and happy and lucky at the same time. He thought that Harry either hadn‘t done this for a long time or didn’t let himself go completely because he went so easily, but then the idea of anyone else doing this for Harry started burning a hole in Louis‘ heart, so he stopped thinknig about it, focusing only on the boy in his arms.</p><p>"Shh," he said. "I'm gonna take care of you."</p><p>He took Harry's cock in his hand, moving slowly, knowing Harry didn't need much at that point.</p><p>"Such a good boy,“ he continued, "love your hair like this. Reminds me of the little boy I met when I was 18."</p><p>"Please," Harry begged, "please, I love you, please, Lou."</p><p>Louis' hand stilled.</p><p>"No," Harry sobbed, "I'm sorry, please, I need - please, Lou."</p><p>Louis closed his eyes for a second, before he kissed Harry's temple and started moving his hand again, quicker this time.</p><p>"I love you, too," he murmured and pulled on Harry's hair at the same time, and Harry was sent over the edge, moaning and sobbing, come spurting from his cock onto his stomach and all over Louis' hand. Louis didn't stop jerking him even when Harry was only letting out broken sobs. He pulled his hair, turning his head to look at his face. There were tears in his eyes and on his cheeks that weren't stopping and a pained expression on his face.</p><p>Louis didn't stop pulling on the sensitive skin, though, and he wasn't sure whether he was punishing Harry or rewarding him, or whether he was punishing <em>himself</em> by listening to Harry's sobs and seeing his tears.</p><p>He only stopped when Harry's body started to involuntarily jerk a bit too much, letting go of his cock slowly, wiping his hand on Harry's stomach before taking Harry's head in his hands and kissing him.</p><p>"I'm so proud of you, Haz," he said into the kiss, which was mostly him kissing Harry because the spaced-out boy didn't seem to gain control of his body just yet.</p><p>"So proud, you're such a good boy, H."</p><p>When Harry tried to move, he got him to curl up on his chest. Louis took his blazer and cleaned Harry again before taking Harry's one and putting it over his lower part, covering him up. He started stroking his hair and back, murmuring soft words like "good boy" and "mine" and "beautiful" into Harry's ear.</p><p>When Harry started stirring in his arms, he moved his head a bit to look at him.</p><p>Harry's eyes were open, so open.</p><p>He seemed to be coming into himself, getting a bit shy like always after losing himself because of Louis.</p><p>"Hi," Louis smiled, still stroking Harry's hair.</p><p>"Oops," Harry said, small, quiet, but getting some of his cheeky self back.</p><p>Louis smiled, a bittersweet feeling on his tongue.</p><p>"You're so silly," he said.</p><p>Harry looked down.</p><p>"Hey," Louis used his hand to guide his head up again by his chin, "none of that, don't get embarrassed on me. I thought we were over that."</p><p>Harry didn't turn his head away this time but didn't look Louis in his eyes either. "I'm sorry," he said.</p><p>"For what?" Louis frowned.</p><p>"For saying..."</p><p>"Oh," Louis looked down this time. "I wasn't sure if you knew what you were..."</p><p>"I did," Harry said a bit timidly. "I mean, I didn't mean to, wasn't really... in control... at that point. But I - knew."</p><p>"Okay," Louis said, unsure of what to do. He felt a bit out of place - he wanted to take care of Harry, he wanted to be strong for him but he - he wasn't sure what to do.</p><p>"You said it back."</p><p>Harry was looking at him with that scared expression he had when he was 16, admitting to Louis that he liked boys, or a few months after when he told him he liked him, or when he told him he loved him, and Louis, not for the first time, thought how brave Harry was. Louis was always scared and Harry thought he was too, and maybe he was but he was always the one to take the jump even through the fear, always the one to act, Harry was always the brave one out of the two of them-</p><p>He was going to be brave.</p><p>"I did."</p><p>Harry swallowed, searching for something in Louis' eyes.</p><p>"Did you... did you mean it?"</p><p>Louis almost laughed - almost, because he knew laughing now would be a really bad idea, but he almost did, because - how could Harry think any time Louis told him he loved him he didn't mean it? How could he think there was even an option that Louis didn't love him when that was all Louis had done for the past years, the only thing Louis was sure of, the only constant in his life. Harry was his only constant even when he wasn't in his life, these past few months.</p><p>"I never stopped meaning it."</p><p>And that was it, wasn't it? Because Louis knew that they didn't stop loving each other. They didn't get tired of each other, change too much, annoy each other or anything else that would cause them to lose feelings for each other. Their feelings ran so deep within them they were engraved in their bones, it was a fact- the stars were burning, the ocean was deep, the universe was infinite, Louis loved Harry, Harry loved Louis, and their love was burning as the stars and deep as the ocean and infinite as the universe.</p><p>They loved each other, always.</p><p>They never stopped. Maybe they were just too young. Maybe they just weren't careful, sank too deep, stepped a bit too close to the fire burning within them.</p><p>Maybe they learnt how to live without burning themselves or drowning, though.</p><p>Maybe they were ready to love each other again.</p>
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